


Let The Fireflies Dance and Watch Them Burn

by burymeinziam



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, End of the World, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-30
Updated: 2013-10-30
Packaged: 2017-12-30 23:44:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1024807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/burymeinziam/pseuds/burymeinziam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>: In which it’s the end of the world and Liam runs away from home, Harry’s heart is too big, and Zayn is just trying to be happy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let The Fireflies Dance and Watch Them Burn

**TUESDAY**

There’s a boy sitting on top of an old suitcase about two hundred feet ahead down the road. He’s not doing much of anything, just sitting, which is peculiar under the circumstances since most people are either panicking within the confines of their own homes or trying to find a way out of town in order to have an exciting last few days. It’s not as though leaving town will change or do much to help the situation at hand, but it still makes it feel as though you’re trying instead of sitting around and waiting for the inevitable.

Which is apparently what this guy is doing: waiting.

If Harry had been in the seat next to him, Zayn might have turned to him and made a joke about hitchhikers and that time Harry picked up those two kids off the side of the road at two in the morning before taking them to a McDonald’s drive-thru and dropping them off in some sketchy neighborhood downtown. He might have asked Harry if he felt like picking this poor bum up and seeing where he was headed or if he wanted to catch a ride with them to a beach somewhere in California. If Harry had been in the seat next to him Zayn might have said a lot of things, but he isn’t and Zayn can’t without making himself feel like a nutcase so he keeps his mouth shut. 

They say talking to people after they’ve gone can be healthy, that it’s sort of therapeutic in a sense. They say it can make a person feel less alone, but all it does is remind Zayn of someone who isn’t there and won’t ever be there again. And it’s not like Harry can hear him anyways because even if there is a Heaven it’s too far away and Zayn’s voice probably wouldn’t carry.

Zayn is inching along in the car now, doing no more than five miles per hour in a 60 miles per hour zone and he knows he looks creepy or ominous or whatever adjective this guy would choose to use. It’s just that he’s wondering if pulling over would be a good idea. Zayn can’t stop thinking about Harry and how he would say something about it being a good deed and everyone needs help and “really, Zayn, nobody should be alone at a time like this.”

Zayn looks at the passenger’s seat and doesn’t really want a new body occupying it; not yet.

But it’s Tuesday and it’s lonely in here and the radio can only keep him company for so long. Not to mention there’s only four days left.

“Fuck it,” Zayn mutters under his breath and presses his foot on the gas, speeding up until he’s stopping in front of the hitchhiker and his suitcase.

When Zayn rolls down his window the boy is staring. His eyes are fearful and curious and wider than Zayn had expected.

“Hey,” Zayn says. He should probably say something more, maybe try and explain himself or something, but he can’t think of any other words and it isn’t like he owes this guy anything so, once again, Zayn keeps his mouth shut.

The guy blinks, shifts his weight on the suitcase. “Hi?”

Zayn wonders if there is some sort of protocol for this. He feels like he needs to present his ID and share his entire life story in order to convince this kid that he isn’t some sort of creep that’s looking to take him off the side of the road, chop him into tiny pieces, and dump him off in a ditch somewhere. Zayn feels as though Harry would know how to go about doing this. He knows that Harry would smile and ask the guy how he was doing, maybe talk about the weather or the lack of cars on the road before mentioning that they were driving down to California and “hey, you look lonely why don’t you catch a ride with us, yeah?” And even though it’s a strangely nice offer and it’s probably not a good idea to get into a car with two complete strangers, Harry would be so fucking nice and charming the kid would feel nothing other than safe and welcome as he climbed into the backseat of the car.

Besides, there are only a few days left anyways so there’s not much left to lose either way.

“I’m… I’m Zayn.”

That’s all he can really manage because, as much as Zayn wishes he was and that he did, he is not Harry Styles and he does not have his charm. Zayn is quieter and more reserved and he doesn’t just pull over and talk to strangers on the side of the road.

“Liam.”

The name sort of fits. To Zayn, the name Liam belongs to someone clean and smart and nice; someone who has a fair amount of friends and a family who loves him. He probably gets decent grades, nothing exceptional or remarkable but they’re decent and they make his family proud, and has a really pretty girlfriend who loves him and he loves her too and they’ve probably been dating since early middle school. This Liam guy, he’d be serious about her and he might even want to marry her once they graduate high school and head off to college. They’ll have two kids (a boy and a girl) and they’d live in a cozy house somewhere in the suburbs with a dog and a white picket fence and they’d be happy. 

Zayn looks at Liam and, even though he’s a bit roughed up and sitting on top of a suitcase along the side of a near empty road in the middle of nowhere, he can see all of it. Zayn can see all of this happening for Liam and he can’t help but to think the name fits.

“I uh… You want a ride?”

It’s a simple yes or no question that requires a simple yes or no answer, but it feels like so much more. Maybe it’s because Liam’s is the first face Zayn has seen since Harry left and Zayn’s is the first Liam has really seen since he left home. Maybe it’s because they’re both lonely and this is probably the only real opportunity they’re going to get at company before it all goes to shit. 

It could be anything, really, but it’s not as if the “why” matters all that much anyways. It only matters that the question was asked and that an answer has yet to be given.

Liam looks to his left, then his right, and sees nothing but wide open space.

He stands up, brushes the dust from his pants and reaches out to take hold of his suitcase. 

“Sure.” 

Zayn nods and unlocks the doors to the car. “You can toss the suitcase in the backseat.”

Liam does as he’s instructed before opening the door to the passenger’s side of the car and climbing inside. Once the door is closed again the silence between them becomes loud and thick and Zayn knows he should say something but he isn’t sure what. 

He presses his foot on the gas pedal just to give himself something to do.

Zayn thinks Harry would ask where Liam came from, where he was going, what he was going to do once he got there. He thinks Harry would have interesting things to tack onto whatever Liam had to say and they would laugh and maybe joke around a little like they were old friends just because Harry was that easy to talk to. 

What would Harry do? That always seems to be the question because Zayn never seems to know. He never seems to know what to do because Harry always seemed to have the answers. Harry was always there. 

And now Zayn was stuck here with a few short days left driving aimlessly around the United States because California slowly seems to feel like too much.

“Thanks for picking me up,” Liam says. “I wasn’t sure how much longer I could sit there for.”

Zayn mumbles something about it not being a problem, then clears his throat. “How long were you there for?”

Liam shrugs. “Since last night, I guess? Depending on how you look at it.”

Zayn glances at Liam, not understanding how the way he were to look at the explanation would change anything. “What does that mean?”

Liam laughs nervously; rubs at the back of his neck. Zayn thinks his smile is sort of pretty.

“I was uh… a few friends and I had left home, you know? Just because everyone is doing it now and staying back home was never really an option anyways. And uh… well, I guess we were on the road for a few days just driving around, trying to figure out what to do with the time we had left and… I don’t know. I guess they missed home or they were too afraid of what else was out there or…” Liam shrugs. “They wanted to go back, but I didn’t. There isn’t anything for me back there. They tried to get me to stay, but I told them no and they left me out here around four this morning.”

Zayn looks at the time displayed on the radio. It was close to five in the afternoon. 

It’s quiet and Zayn isn’t really sure of what to say. He has a multitude of questions he wants to ask, but he’s not quite sure if they’re too intrusive. Zayn doesn’t know how far is too far or how personal is too personal and if that really matters with only four days left.

“What’s so wrong with home that you wouldn’t want to go back?” 

“I don’t even know if you could call it that,” Liam says. “It’s foster care. Nobody cares. There’s no family. There were the guys I ran off with, but… I don’t know. It’s not the same. It’s not family. It sounds harsh, but it’s just people that are there until they leave.”

Suddenly Liam isn’t the boy with the good grades and the nice parents and the pretty girlfriend. He doesn’t have the white picket fence and the dog and the two kids in the suburbs. He’s just… He’s just a boy.

It’s kind of sad, really. Harry might call it beautiful.

“I’m going to California,” Zayn says, glances nervously over towards Liam.

Liam smiles and this time Zayn knows it’s pretty. 

“Sounds good.”

  
  


**THE BOY WITH ROSE COLORED GLASSES**

There was never a time when Harry wasn’t there.

At least not a time that mattered.

Harry had been around for as long as Zayn could remember. He knows there were years when it was just him and his parents and his sisters, but all of that never really seemed important. Harry was Zayn’s best friend; his constant. He made sure everything made sense when the world felt chaotic and too fucked up to deal with. 

“You just gotta smell the roses,” Harry would say. “Quit worrying about the next time you have to water them and how you need to make time to clip the thorns or trim the hedges or whatever gardeners do to rose bushes. Don’t worry about that. Just smell them and appreciate how beautiful they are right now, you know?” 

Harry was alive and present where Zayn was quiet and observant. Zayn had a tendency to linger around the sidelines watching as everyone else experienced the world around him. It was almost as though he was afraid of what would happen if he were to decide to join them. And maybe he was. Zayn over thought everything. Every word that came out of his mouth was calculated and precise. He never wanted to say the wrong thing or to express himself in a way that wasn’t one hundred percent accurate. Zayn was precise and organized. He did things by the book.

And maybe that was why he needed Harry. While Zayn was standing on the sidelines, Harry was at the center of everything. He was laughing and living and loving. Harry didn’t really think about what he was going to say or do next; he simply spoke and he went and he loved every second of it. Harry talked to strangers at the supermarket and learned to dance with street performers. Harry stumbled upon different restaurants downtown and tried food from all over the world. 

Harry smelled the roses while Zayn trimmed the hedges. And that was fine because Zayn sort of liked to watch Harry move through life and he sort of liked it when Harry reached out and pulled him in and forced Zayn to live it along with him as well. 

And then there was only about two weeks left and it was all over the news. People were freaking out and trying to do everything they never got to because the world was ending and there was only two weeks left.

“I think we should go to California,” Harry said while a news reporter was talking about a robbery at a bank in a nearby city. Why steal the money, Zayn wondered, when there isn’t even enough time to spend it?

“California, eh?” He asked because Harry couldn’t possibly be serious and this was probably him just talking, like he always does, about all the things he could be doing and wants to do before he dies. Apparently California is one of them.

“Yeah. Watch the sunrise at the beach on the last day.”

It’s the way Harry says it that makes Zayn look up at him. Normally Zayn would roll his eyes and laugh in that way that Harry describes as both dry and playful and a little condescending but not in a way that really matters, but Harry says this like he’s serious; he says it like it means something to him and that he needs Zayn to do it with him.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Harry says. “Don’t look at me like I’m stupid.”

Zayn shakes his head. “I’m not.”

“But you are. You’re giving me that look that says ‘you’ve gotta be fucking me, Harry; you can’t be at all serious.’”

Zayn doesn’t say anything because he probably was even though he never meant to.

“I am serious though,” Harry continues. “I wanna drive to California and go to the beach and watch the sunrise on the last day. And I want to do it with you.”

Zayn feels as though his heart is about to bust right out of his chest and he thinks that maybe this is how Harry feels all the time and he wonders how in the world he deals with such discomfort. Zayn can’t imagine leaving his family at a time like this so he could drive across the country with his best friend to watch the fucking sunrise. But this is also Harry and Harry is his best friend and Zayn knows he would honestly do anything.

“Why?” Zayn asks. “Why do we have to go to a beach in California and watch the sunrise?” Now his tone is condescending and it’s on purpose, but he and Harry both know that it’s only an act and Zayn has basically already said yes.

But Harry smiles and answers his question anyways.

“Because you’re my best friend and I want you to smell the roses.”

  
  


**WEDNESDAY**

When Zayn became too tired to drive they'd stopped off on the side of the road. Liam said something about being able to take over, but upon seeing Zayn's face took back the offer. It wasn't that Zayn didn't trust Liam it was just that this was Harry's car and it was strange handing the wheel over to someone who was basically a complete stranger. 

It's light out when Zayn cracks an eye open. Liam is still in the passenger's seat resting his head against the window and using an old jacket he'd fished out of his bag as a pillow. It's Wednesday, so that gives them three days to make it to California before the clock runs out. 

He doesn't bother with waking Liam up because there really isn't any point. It'll only provide Zayn with more awkward silences and forced conversation and he really isn't in the mood. He'd much rather listen to the radio on low and think about what he's actually going to do when he reaches the coast. 

The beach is the obvious answer since that is what Harry had wanted, but it almost feels strange heading there without him. They were supposed to sit on the sand and watch the sun against the horizon together, that was the plan, and doing so alone would just be wrong. Not to mention lonely. 

"We on the road again?" Liam asks sleepily from the other side of the car.

Zayn nods. "Yeah. Somewhere in Kansas, I think."

"Kansas," Liam says. "There's no place like home..."

When Zayn glances over, Liam is smiling a little and even though the joke is pretty silly Zayn can't help but to smile back. 

Liam shifts in his seat , tossing his makeshift pillow into his lap before turning back to look at Zayn. "So, I told you where I'm from," he starts."What about you? What's your story?"

Zayn shrugs. "I came from Vermont. There isn't much to say."

Liam eyes Zayn curiously, probably trying to figure out if it's smart to press the question or if he should just leave it alone. 

"Did you leave home by yourself?"

Zayn shakes his head. "No."

"Then where's your friend?"

"Dead," Zayn answers quickly, his grip tightening on the steering wheel. His chest feels tight, like his heart is swelling and he knows that it's Harry. Everything suddenly feels too big. "He's... He's dead."

It's quiet for a few moments and then the silence is broken when Liam whispers "sorry" so quietly Zayn is almost sure he's hearing things.

"Not your fault," Zayn mumbles, turning up the volume on the radio. "Shit happens."

  
  


**TO LOVE AND BE LOVED**

They said his heart was too big. That's what Harry told him. 

“Heart defect,” Harry told him. “Guess I wasn't born with the right stuff.” 

He'd said it with a shrug of his shoulders like it wasn't that big of a deal – like it didn't matter – but Zayn could look in his eyes and tell that Harry was scared. 

Zayn had known Harry for years now and he'd thought they told each other everything, but Harry had kept this secret. He didn't say anything and the only reason he was opening his mouth now was because he'd been experiencing fainting spells for the past few weeks and Zayn was growing worried.

“I didn't want you to look at me different,” Harry told him. “My parents treat me like I'm fragile. It's like they think I'm going to break or something. I know you wouldn't do it on purpose but I didn't want that from you.”

“I wouldn't,” Zayn told him and he meant it.

“But you are,” Harry said. “The way you're looking at me? You're doing it right now.”

Thinking about it now it kind of makes sense that Harry's heart was too big. Zayn thinks it grew just because Harry loved people too much. Harry wanted to kiss and hug every person he met and he wanted to tell them they were beautiful. Harry felt everything on such an intense level and maybe his heart just couldn't take it. 

Zayn thinks about two weeks after that when Harry had mentioned California and he thinks that he's right. 

Harry's heart was too big because he cared too much and maybe if Zayn had been a little stronger Harry wouldn't have needed to love him so much and he would have had some room to grow. Maybe he would have made it to the end of the world. 

Thinking about it now, maybe it was just that Harry loved too much and Zayn didn't love enough. 

  
  


**THURSDAY**

“His name was Harry,” Zayn told him. “He was nice.”

They're sitting in a park eating turkey and cheese sandwiches they'd lifted from a market a few miles off the freeway. Zayn is picking at the crusts when he says it and doesn't look at Liam once the words have left his mouth. Things have been tense ever since he'd broken the news about his dead friend. Liam was tip toeing around him because Zayn was so quiet and hard to read and he he wasn't sure if everything was alright. Zayn simply wouldn't say.

“Your friend?” Liam asks. 

Zayn nods. “Yeah. But he was more than that.”

Liam cocks his head to the side. “You loved him?” 

It's just a question. Not like Liam cares or like he's judging. He's just curious because it would make sense as to why Zayn was so tense about the subject. 

“No,” he answers, dropping his sandwich to the ground without much concern when it came to the crumbs on his jeans. They'd forgotten napkins. “Well, not really; I don't know. I guess it doesn't really matter.”

Zayn had never been quite sure when it came to Harry. There wasn't a doubt in his mind about whether or not he loved him. Harry was basically all there was. But he wasn't sure if it was _like that_. 

There were times where Zayn would look at him and think that it was a possibility and that maybe it was only a matter of time before they took that one step further and then there were others when Harry was just who he was: a beautiful boy who loved and experienced the world around him and, for some reason, wanted to take Zayn along with him. 

Harry and Zayn were just what they were and there were never really any words for it and Zayn doesn't think there ever will be.

“He must have been special.” Liam says looking at Zayn just before he takes another bite from his sandwich. “If you wanted to spend your last day on earth with him.”

Zayn smiles small and sad, shrugs his shoulders as he feels a blush creep onto his cheeks. “He was.”

+

Things are easier after that. They don't talk much more about Harry mostly because Liam doesn't want to press and Zayn thinks some things are best kept to himself. He wouldn't mind talking about Harry and sharing bits of him with Liam because Zayn thinks the whole world should have known who Harry was and just how special he was. But then there's that part of him that wants to keep Harry close and safe and that part sort of wins over because there is only one full day left and when Zayn watches the sunrise he wants it to just be him and Harry – wherever he may be.

But Liam is nice. He's funny and easy. He has this way about him, this languidness, that sort of guides him through life. He enjoys things and he feels. Liam has this sense of freedom in him that sort of reminds Zayn of Harry. The way Liam will look out the window and see a bird flying through the sky and follow it with his eyes until he can't see it anymore. 

(“ _I want to go where that bird is going,_ ” Harry would have said “ _I want to see things through its eyes._ ”)

Liam talks freely and he doesn't hold things back. He jokes and he sings and he behaves as though the world really isn't ending in a few short days. It isn't like he doesn't know, they talk about it often, but it's not something Liam lets get him down. 

And Zayn likes that. He thinks it's kind of exactly what he needs. 

+

“How do you think it will end?” Liam asks. 

“I don't know,” Zayn answers. It feels like a cop out, but it's the honest truth. He'd been watching the news up until he and Harry left home and they only ever spoke of a date. There were theories about a mass of natural disasters or meteor showers, but nothing confirming how the world would ultimately come to an end. There was just a date and an inevitable end/ 

“You don't have any ideas?” Liam presses on with raised brows as Zayn follows the curve of the road. 

Zayn shrugs. “Not really. I don't think it really matters. I mean, I would prefer for it not to be painful, but I don't think the way we go is all that important. I think the big thing is that we're going at all.”

It's sort of like a revelation. It's like it's finally seeping in and they're both realizing that in less than 48 hours they probably won't be here anymore. Death is no longer this far off, abstract notion living somewhere in the distant future. Death is here and now and its coming and there isn't anything they can do about it.

“You mind if I say something?” Liam asks.

“Sure.” 

Zayn isn't really looking at Liam when he answers, just picking at the crumbs scattered over his jeans. It's kind of depressing now that he thinks about just how close he is to the end and how alone he feels in that moment. He knows that Liam is there, but it really isn't the same. Liam doesn't know him and he doesn't know Liam. They're essentially strangers and they're going to die together.

“I'm glad I'm with you,” Liam says. 

Zayn can feel his heart speed up the minute the words leave Liam's mouth and it's almost like it's going to swell up and burst right out of his chest. He imagines it's the way Harry felt just before he left and that kind of makes it hurt a little more. And the fact that he feels this way accompanied with the fact that he has this itching feeling that Harry would have liked Liam, would have wanted him to come along and be his friend, makes Zayn feel as though he isn't even trying. Zayn feels like he's just standing around, counting down the days and the minutes and the seconds and holding on to a boy who is no longer there and he knows Harry would have been disappointed.

“I don't mean to scare you or anything,” Liam says quickly. “I just... I'm glad I'm not alone and... I don't know. I think that maybe it's good that it's like this, you know? To end something with someone new. It's almost like starting over.”

Zayn looks up from the crumbs on his jeans and meets Liam's eyes and they look so open right then. It's like Liam is opening himself up and letting Zayn in the hopes that Zayn might do the same. 

And he thinks that maybe Liam is right. Even if the world is ending, maybe this is his chance to start over and do things right. As Harry would have said, maybe this was his chance to smell the roses.

Zayn smiles and for the first time in a while it feels really genuine. “Yeah,” he says. “I think you're right.”

  
  


**HEART FAILURE**

They were at a diner when it happened. 

It was quick and Zayn hardly even remembers it happening. One minute he and Harry were talking about a math teacher they had back at school and laughing about all the strange ways he could be spending his final days and the next Harry was falling over in his seat with his hands pressed tight against his chest and Zayn was calling for help and trying to get Harry to breathe –

“Please, Harry, breathe”

and then nothing.

He was just gone.

Cardiac Arrest. Sudden Death.

Zayn lied at the hospital and said they were brothers. He didn't have ID because he didn't think he'd need it considering the world was going to be over in a few weeks and they were only going to watch the sunrise anyways. Nothing was supposed to go wrong because everything was shit already. 

It was such bullshit because they were supposed to go together and Harry was such a good person he should have been able to see things until the end. He should have at least gotten that. He deserved it. Instead he died in some shit hole diner in the middle of nowhere and now Zayn was alone and he didn't have a clue about what he was supposed to do.

He remembers Harry laughing in the car a little after they'd left. “Guess it's good the world is ending, you know?” He'd said. “I'll get to go out in style instead of having this stupid heart of mine put me in the ground.”

And all Zayn could do was laugh because it was so stupid and ironic and Harry had always known – of course he'd always known – because Harry knew everything. Zayn knows he was probably joking in the car, but on some level he knows Harry had felt it. 

And maybe that had been the plan the entire time. Maybe Harry just knew something was going to happen and he'd wanted Zayn to go because there was only so much time left.

(“ _smell the roses, Zayn._ ”)

And that makes things even worse because, even after death, Harry is still loving too much and his heart is still to big and he knew and he did this for Zayn because Harry had faith and he knew Zayn could do it.

So he would. 

  
  


**FRIDAY**

They get to California and neither Zayn nor Liam think they've ever seen anything more beautiful. It's not exactly the way it's pictured in the magazines but there is still sunshine and palm trees and the sky is clear and open. 

“I wish we could stay here forever,” Liam says.

Zayn smiles as he pulls into a parking spot in a lot a few yards away from the beach. “Well, technically we are.”

Liam turns to Zayn and smiles back. “Yeah,” he says. “I guess you're right.”

The day is spent wandering the boardwalk and peeking into shops and pretending like they have all the time in the world. They eat hot dogs and drink smoothies and watch the street performers. It's almost like they're on vacation a few thousand miles from home and not wandering around California waiting for the world to end. 

Throughout the day, Zayn finds himself looking at Liam and wondering what would have happened if they'd met under different circumstances. He wonders if they would have been friends or possibly even more than that. Zayn looks at Liam and the way he laughs and claps his hands as a guy gets his dog to do tricks on a skateboard and thinks he's absolutely beautiful and he wonders if Liam would say the same about him. 

At night, they lie on the hood of Harry's car and stare at the stars. The radio is on and they're listening to a mix CD Harry had made before he and Zayn had taken the car and set out for California. “Hey,” Liam says, sitting up a little, the blanket he and Zayn had been sharing sliding down his legs. “I like this song.”

It's this smashing pumpkins song that Harry had liked, but Zayn can't bring himself to remember the name of it. None of that really matters all that much while Liam is humming to himself and Zayn is smiling at his quiet enthusiasm. 

“Well, if you like it so much you may as well dance.”

He's only half serious, but Liam tosses the blanket off of his legs and climbs off of the car anyways. And then he's swinging and swaying to the music, not really following the beat at all so much as he's just moving. 

“Dance with me,” Liam says, holding his arms out. 

If he didn't know any better, Zayn would have wondered if Liam was a little bit drunk but he knows they haven't been drinking. He shakes his head, mouthing the word no because he really doesn't dance. 

“C'mon,” Liam sings, stepping forward until he's reaching out and taking one of Zayn's hands into his own. 

And Liam laughs and laughs, and Zayn would swear if he didn't know any better that Liam was drunk, as he pulls Zayn to his feet and holds onto his hands as they sway out of time with the music. 

“ _And if you believe there's not a chance tonight... tonight so bright_ ,” Liam sings softly, his breath inadvertently trailing over Zayn's skin.

They're close, closer than they've ever been, and Zayn can feel Liam's heartbeat and everything in that moment feels so alive. There's wind and fresh air and the smell of salt water and sand and Liam is holding him and he reeks of sweat and Axe body spray because they haven't had showers in God only knows how long and it's all so fucking beautiful. 

And Liam keeps singing. 

“ _The indescribable moments of your life tonight. The impossible is possible tonight._ ”

When the song ends everything goes silent and Zayn thinks that must have been the final track on the CD. He and Liam are just standing there, still swaying but not really, and Zayn can feel Liam's lips moving against his hair when he speaks.

“The song is over.”

Zayn laughs softly because the statement is so very obvious. “Yeah,” he says. “Are you sad?”

Liam takes a step back so he can see Zayn properly and shakes his head. He doesn't let go of his hands. “No.”

Zayn isn't sure if things would have turned out differently if the end of the world hadn't been looming over their heads. He'd never been a big believer in God or fate or some sort of chain of events; things like Karma and Divine Intervention. That had always been more up Harry's alley. All he knows is that Liam's lips were warm and and slightly chapped since he'd lost his lip balm somewhere in the backseat of Harry's car. Zayn just knows that Liam's hands felt comforting as they let go of his own and slid up his arms until they found purchase on his shoulders. Zayn knows he loved the surprised breath Liam took in when he nipped at his bottom lip. 

He just knows that when he pulled back to breathe and he looked at Liam, who looked back at him, he saw the most beautiful boy in the world and he didn't care that it was all coming to an end. 

Zayn is just glad he got to meet him.

 

**DON'T WORRY, BE HAPPY**

“You know this isn't just about watching the sunrise,” Harry had said the first night they spent out on the road. He was lying back in the passenger's seat, Zayn curled up in a blanket in the back. 

“Oh?” He responded sleepily. “What's it about then? Getting out of town? Seeing the country? You have plans about becoming a movie star?” 

Harry chuckled, shaking his head. “C'mon, Zayn, I'm serious.”

Zayn sat up a little bit and looked over at Harry, a mess of curls and long limbs a few feet in front of him. “If it's not all about watching the sunrise, then what is it?” 

Harry lolled his head to the side. “Happiness,” He said simply. “I saw you at home and you always looked so trapped. I just... I wanted you to get out. I think that if you just got out of there an d saw the world and how beautiful it was, saw all of the people living in it, that maybe you'd smile a little more.”

“Harry...” Zayn said slowly, unable to put into words how much that meant. He didn't know how to tell Harry how special he was, how much he was appreciated and loved. 

Harry shook his head, offered Zayn a shy smile and a shrug of his shoulders. “You're my best friend, Zayn. I figured I could do that for you. I want to do that for you.”

“I don't...” Zayn's throat felt tight with how much it meant that Harry would do something like this for him. 

“Just be happy,” Harry told him. 

Zayn thought about that for a moment, smiled as he wiped at the tears welling up around the corners of his eyes. “I am happy.”

Harry's eyes locked with Zayn's. He grinned. “Then stay that way.”

  
  


**SATURDAY**

The sky is a mess of pinks and oranges and blues and yellows in the morning. Zayn and Liam had stayed up the whole night talking about how they would spend their last day, wondering when it would end and how. 

“Meteor shower,” Liam says. “Like the dinosaurs.”

“It's all just going to fade to black,” Zayn counters. “Like in a movie. I think it'll be quiet.”

In the end, it's sort of like Zayn had said earlier when Liam had asked him about it. It doesn't matter how they go or when or what time it is when it happens; it only matters that it's happening it all. All that matters is who wand where and why. 

They're sitting on the hood of Harry's car when Liam spots the first signs of the sun peeking over the horizon. 

“There,” he says softly, pointing across the ocean. 

Zayn watches the sun, sees it rise and basks in the reality of this being the last time. He scoots closer toward Liam and rests his head against his shoulder, gets lost in the steady rise and fall of his breathing.

It isn't the way he'd imagined. This isn't Zayn and Harry and the cool morning chill and seagulls eating the bread Harry would have probably tossed out onto the sand just before the sunrise. 

This is Zayn and Liam and the hood of Harry's car. This is Zayn stumbling upon a flower bed and picking a rose and really taking the time the catch it's scent. This is the smile tugging at the corners of Zayn's mouth as he places his hand over Liam's where it's resting on the hood of Harry's car. It's Liam turning his hand over and lacing their fingers together and Zayn somehow knowing Liam has no plans on letting go. 

This is Zayn keeping a promise. 

This is Zayn at the end of the world.

This is Zayn happy. 


End file.
